now i can't apologize
by Kelsibuna
Summary: Mara comes back from a week with her parents to some bad news. This is a short four chapter story to make up for my lack of updates for "dead or alive". The entire story is from Mara's point of view. JARA
1. The Return

Chapter 1: The Return

I sat in the back of the car patiently waiting to go back to school. I was visiting my parents like I always do for a week every two months. I'll miss them, but I can't wait to get back to the house and see my friends. I have gifts for everyone. I got a purse for Amber, a hat for Alfie, books for Fabian and Nina, chocolate for Patricia and Eddie, earrings for Joy, and a box with a lock for Jerome. Three weeks ago Alfie found Jerome's diary. Luckily Jerome caught him just as he was about to read it. Anyway I can't wait until I get back so I can tell my friends all about my week, but first I need to talk to Jerome. Just before I left we had a fight and I said something really mean. I think I hurt his feelings because it was about something that's very painful to him. I have to apologize.

This is what happened…

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**I know i said i was going to spam you with updates for "dead or alive" but instead i'm doing one really long chapter with everyone's POV and this story.**


	2. The fight

Chapter 2: The Fight

This is what happened…

*FLASHBACK*

I was helping Jerome with history in his room when he asked, "you want to hang out tomorrow? We can movie or something."

"Sorry Jerome I can't. I'm visiting my parents."

"Again? Mara you visit them every week off!"

"They're my parents! I love them and I want to see them every chance I get! If I didn't want to see them I wouldn't!"

"Why do you always want to see them? Doesn't it get boring seeing them every other month?!"

"No. Why don't you visit you're parents every chance you get?"

"You know why!"

"Oh yeah I forgot they don't want you! I don't blame them! I wouldn't want a failure like you either!"

"You're right! You deserve someone better than me because you have two parents who love you!" I will forever regret what I said next, but his sarcasm just made me so angry.

"Maybe I do deserve better than someone who doesn't know how it feels to be loved by their parents!"

He looked like he was about to cry. But I was too upset to care. Instead of comforting him or apologizing, I just left.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

The car stopped and I got out it was 4:13 my heart stopped for half a second and I got this sick feeling it went away quickly. I thought nothing of it as I went into the house.e Fight


	3. The News

Chapter 3: The News

The car stopped and I got out it was 4:13 my heart stopped for half a second and I got this sick feeling it went away quickly. I thought nothing of it as I went into the house.

When I walked through the doors of Anubis house all of my friends where waiting by the door except Jerome. Maybe he's still mad at me. We all went to sit down. "Where is Jerome?"

Trudy answered, "He went to town this morning"

"And he's not back yet?"

"He should be here any minute I told him to be back by five."

"Oh, then I guess I'll just give you your gifts now." I passed them out.

Everyone said stuff like, 'Thanks Mara', 'Wow this is cool', and 'I love it'.

I told them about my week. I told them lots of stories. I told them about the day at the park when my mom gave my dad some bread and told him to feed the "ducks" while we waited in the car. They where actually geese and they chased him around.

It is now 5:30 and Jerome still isn't back yet. The phone rang in Victor's office ten minutes later he came in. I swear their where tears in his eyes. "Everyone I have announcement." The room got quiet. "Jerome Clarke was found in the park by the pond. Dead." Everyone looked at each other. "He was stabbed in the throat" we where all shocked. "At first the police thought it was murder, but then they found a suicide letter for Ms. Jaffray." The tears are coming. "He wasn't dead when they found him, but his heart stopped at 4:13."

'Maybe I do deserve better than someone who doesn't know how it feels to be loved by their parents!' those are the worst possible last words you could say to a person, especially someone you love. And now I can't apologize.


	4. The Letter

**I'm sorry it's aso late but i've been busey, and i wanted to make sure this last chapter is the best it could be. And no i havent forgotten about my other stories.**

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Chapter 4: The Letter

_Mara,_

_ If you're reading this it means I'm dead. I'm sorry I did this, and you probably think it's your fault. Never blame yourself for what happened to me. I did this for 3 reasons. The first is my parents; they always thought of me as a disappointment, nothing I did was ever right. Maybe this is the one thing they'll appreciate. The next is my "friends", I was always a burden, I was a waste of time and kind of a jerk, but that was the only way they noticed me. I hope they're glad I'm not a problem anymore. And the third reason is, I thought about what you said, I know you didn't mean it, but you where right. You only deserve the best and that's not me. I want you to live a good, successful life and I know that if you stuck with me I would just get in the way. I'm sorry I had to kill myself while you where gone. I know it hurts to think you could have stopped me, but think of it this way; I ended my suffering and prevented yours. And all I had to do was stab my throat. Go ahead and tell the others that secret I told you two years ago. They deserve to know about the day my parents left me to rot and how long I've been in boarding school. Tell them everything. Read my journal it has everything that has happened in my life. Read it to Alfie and keep it forever, so it will be there when you think of me. My secrets shouldn't die with me. I truly am sorry Mara, I will always love you Jaffray. _

_-Jerome _

"I love you too Clarke." I whispered. I sat in shock for a moment but eventually I broke down.

I kept my promise I told them Jerome's secrets. I read Alfie the diary, and kept it with me forever.

When I was older I got it published so the whole world could know, Jerome Clarke. I was never married but I adopted a son with blond hair and sparkling blue eyes. His name is Jerome.

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**So I guess it's over. Hope you liked it. (and if you diddnt i dont care XD) **


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